Saturday, 25 May 2013

My Second Chance at a Career after Divorce

My Life

I left school with a few GCSEs and moved into retail in a department store. My childhood boyfriend went on to college and trained as a plumber. We had great dreams for our future together. We wanted to start our family while we were young so just before he qualified, we got married. It was a small church wedding with the reception at a hotel.
Author Photostock and image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
Children and Happily Married

I fell pregnant after a year but resumed work after maternity leave as my family helped with the baby. When my second baby came, we decided to leave my job. At this time my husband was
earning good money and we can easily afford this way of life. After six years of marriage, I had twins. This pregnancy was difficult for me and I suffered from post-natal depression. By the time the twins were two years old, all my helpers had gone and I had to look after the children alone. My mother had passed away and my sister got married and moved to Wales while the youngest went off to university in Manchester. I struggled and a lot of the burden fell on my husband who was great in assisting although he had a full time job.
 
 
The Bad Years

Over the years my health improved. When the twins were ten years old, we experienced an extremely cold winter. My husband now had his own business and he was working round the clock. Each night when he came home, he had his dinner and just collapsed in bed. I resented this as I felt I was running the household and looking after the children while he had only one job. He tried to make me see that he had to make the most of the situation to fix burst pipes as the demand will not be there once the winter is over. I refused to see his point of view. I would do stupid things to show my resentment such as letting his dinner burn as he was not home at dinner time.
After a time, he would stay at his parents’ house as his last job was close to them. Over the years, the tension between us was never resolved but the resentment was building and our relationship never did recover. Throughout the years, he always made sure it was ‘children time’ on Sundays although I knew he was tired.

My Divorce

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net and Author David Castillo Dominici

The household arrangements changed with the children, as teenagers, having their own lives with their friends. I found a text message on his phone from a woman. He admitted an affair when confronted with the evidence. I immediately threw all his clothes out the window. The next day I put all his belongings in the front garden, including his laptop and files and I had all the locks changed. He never came back to the house but, unbeknown to me, he was in touch with the children and kept up the usual Sunday special day.
My Recovery

After a few weeks, I took stock of my life. I knew I had to find a job. I had no qualifications to make me eligible to enter the working world. I visited a number of course providers and had sensible advice from one which I took on board. I enrolled for an Administration course. I started with IT and touch typing by searching for the keys in the first instance but, with assistance and tips from the tutors, I was soon comfortable with it and passed all the exams. And, most of all, I am enjoying it and now feel confident to enter the working world in London again.

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